The fax machine is like a biased child.

I think today is going to be the day that the fax machine pisses on everything I love.
Firstly, who the fuck even sends faxes anymore, why can't we email pantient files. ):
Damn internet hackers making it so we can't be quick and efficient.

I go to send a faw, and important fax that should only take a minute out of my day,
and it seems i'm spending the next ten minutes trying to coo the machine into working with me.
theres a line up, I'm getting all clammy, I can feel their eyes as they silently wait, almost waiting to kill.
Finally I step aside, and give a half hearted warning to the next office girl, "Watch out, it's not working too well"
"thanks"

THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS? THE FAX SENDS, LIKE LIGHT SPEEND, AND SHE'S GONE AND SOON THE LINE HAS GONE THROUGH. In the time that it took me to FAIL at sending one fucking sheet of paper, over 6 people would have sent their faxes.

Finally I'm alone with it.
"Alright, faxy.. whats your beef"
*Well, you're kind of always in my face, you could try doing something that isn't pushing my buttons*
"this is my job, just let me do my job and i'll go, I promise"
*fine, go, put the paper in; don't forget to push 9 first*
"mhm thanks faxy"

I put the paper in, I punch in the numbers and the codes, and push send.I feel confident in my work, I believe that it's going to go through!

I wait, after the long dial tone, which sounds like what I would like to believe a fax machine laughing, it spits out a piece of paper.

"Status: Falied"

OU FUCKING KIDDING ME. FUCK YOU. OH LORD ALL MIGHTY WE HAVE SOMEONE WHO THINKS THEY CAN JUST PLAY GOD. WHO ARE YOU, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU AAAAAARE.


(this is all taking place in my head, might I add, and I just stand there rubbing my temples)

tl;dr I hate fax machines. they're shit and hate only me.